Scared to Lose

This is going to sound crazy. 

Sometimes I’m scared to lose weight.

Not scared because I don’t think I need to lose. More like scared of how my body will react losing weight again. Pre-baby, a lot bounced back when I lost weight. But, as everyone told me, post baby bodies are different. 

I feel like I will always have the “mom pooch”. My views on plastic surgery have changed pretty drastically since having Quinn. I was the first person to say that I would have anything nipped, tucked, and sucked. Now I feel that going under anesthesia for any reason unless it’s absolutely necessary isn’t really a risk I want to take. 

As I lose weight, things are looking a little “loose”. I have high hopes to fit into some old clothes soon, but until then I’m picking up a few cheap things here and there to make me feel good. This dress (tunic on me because I’m so tall) is one of those things. 

Matt’s parents are coming over from England to visit at the end of March and I would love it if my nicer clothes fit by then and look decent, but the unknown of what my body will look like as the pounds drop is scary. 

The fear of the unknown of loose skin, lumps, and bumps will not deter me from keeping on going. I think it’s important to talk about the fears associated with losing weight because they are real and a part of the journey. I think my success this time around will depend on working through the issues as I go and really staying focused on why I’m doing this. I have a very good reason.

My great friend Lindsay said something to me that stuck, and I repeat it every day to myself because it makes perfect sense. She said that it’s important for Quinn to see me taking care of myself. 

That’s so true.

She also needs to see me love and accept my body as it changes, no matter what sags and droops. I’m working on that part.

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4 Responses to Scared to Lose

  1. staysail says:

    I feel the same way, and I have not had kids. However, it’s more the pressure of “keeping it up, and keeping it off”. All my co-workers, friends, family members, that’s all they compliment me on now. WOW, you’ve lost so much weight, you look so great. So now I find myself getting paranoid if I have an off week, or if I have a “shark week” binge, or if I just don’t care one day and eat whatever I want because I’m tired/bored/hungry. I don’t have the strength everyday to be 100% strict with myself. Especially since I’ve done this all alone, no friends, no gym buddy, no weight watchers (after the first 4-5 months). I realize it’s just pressure I’m putting on myself, but I definetly feel more self-conscious now that I’ve lost weight. My boobs have shrunk, I have loose skin on my arms and stomach, and those things can be very defeating. But I guess I just keep on trying. It’s all mental. I saw a quote on Pinterest the other day that said “Your body can accomplish anything, it’s your mind you have to convince.” Which is pretty true. It’s all in our heads. Keep going girl, you can do it!

  2. sheisonarun says:

    This is the stuff that people don’t tell you about losing weight. It is as mental as it is physical.

  3. EC says:

    Lady, we are past 30* and things are gonna start sagging regardless! Might as well practice some self love and embrace it.**

    *But you don’t look it 😉
    **Easier said than done, I know! I am faking it til I make it. If you discover the self love secret, lemme know.

  4. You’re doing well. Keep it up. Success is just around the corner.

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