Advice from a Former Loser

Did you know Indiana is full of rolling hills that burn your thighs? I didn’t either. But both ways out of our neighborhood are windy and hilly.

My thighs are on fire.

Especially after pushing this messy munchkin around.

We walked to Essenhaus, the Amish resort near our house, to meet my sister in law, my niece, nephews, and my grandparents. We are lucky that my brother and his family live less than 10 minutes away from us. My grandparents are here visiting from Alabama. We had a great time riding the horse and carriage through the rolling hills.

The boys got to sit up front with Rudy, our friendly guide. Bless him, he had so much patience with them and he even let them drive Chester, the gorgeous horse.

The kids were dressed in summer clothes and froze. It didn’t bust 65 degrees today and Quinn and I were bundled up.


My grandparents offered to drive us home after our day of fun, but I insisted on walking. As bad as my thighs burned, it feels good to walk. That’s my exercise right now and I’m enjoying it.

I haven’t weighed myself still. I haven’t bought a scale. I will soon. I think I’m around 270. My lowest on Weight Watchers was 234. I don’t really know where to go from here. I don’t think I want to go back to Weight Watchers, but then sometimes I want to run back to it because it’s what I know. I have downloaded My Fitness Pal but haven’t done anything with it yet. I’m at a crossroad on my journey and have no clue what to do next.

Part of me wants to say screw tracking, in any way, shape, form, or fashion, but I am incapable of eating in moderation. I’ve tried. I don’t have it in me. I restrict and binge. I need balance.

I was successful losing weight before, but it came from a place of hatred for myself. I cringe a million cringes when I see people that I follow on Instagram and blogs being so hard on themselves about weight loss. I know that feeling and I don’t want it.

Here’s what I know about weight loss that I didn’t know before:

Working out is not punishment for being fat.

Your waist size does not determine your self worth.

When you are surrounded by loving, supportive people you can more easily love yourself.

If you lose weight because you hate your body, you will gain it back.

Love yourself first.

I do now. And I’m ready to do it the right way this time around.

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4 Responses to Advice from a Former Loser

  1. i3iteme72 says:

    My fitness pal is essentially weight watchers without the money. You could also check out, you bet money to lose 4 or 10% of your body weight in 28 days or 6 months. If you do, you get your money back (and likely more!). If you can find urself a good motivation tool it helps. Best of luck

  2. allofmywords says:

    Reblogged this on lifes little epiphanies… and commented:
    Beautiful truth.

  3. Denise says:

    What works for me is just to observe what you’re currently eating, track it all in My Fitness Pal without any kind of judgment (try to think of it as a science experiment), and try to do something active (like walking) every day. After a few days of tracking before I put anything in my mouth, I found myself not wanting to put in the Cheetos or whatever, so I ate a little bit better just by pre-tracking. The walking increased because I found that I didn’t hate it and I felt more energetic on days that I walked. So far I’ve lost about 90 pounds with 20 (or so) to go, but it’s the basic “track then eat; get some activity in every day; repeat” routine that I return to whenever I hit a plateau or (like now) am dealing with sugar cravings. No body hatred, no crazy restriction (I’m scary good at both of those), just moderation and observation.

  4. Awesome post and awesome attitude. I am all for MyFitnessPal. I lost over 100 ponds on there and it is also how I met my husband. I have a hard time controlling my eating too, and logging it there is what keeps me accountable. 🙂

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