Did you know Indiana is full of rolling hills that burn your thighs? I didn’t either. But both ways out of our neighborhood are windy and hilly.
My thighs are on fire.
Especially after pushing this messy munchkin around.
We walked to Essenhaus, the Amish resort near our house, to meet my sister in law, my niece, nephews, and my grandparents. We are lucky that my brother and his family live less than 10 minutes away from us. My grandparents are here visiting from Alabama. We had a great time riding the horse and carriage through the rolling hills.
My grandparents offered to drive us home after our day of fun, but I insisted on walking. As bad as my thighs burned, it feels good to walk. That’s my exercise right now and I’m enjoying it.
I haven’t weighed myself still. I haven’t bought a scale. I will soon. I think I’m around 270. My lowest on Weight Watchers was 234. I don’t really know where to go from here. I don’t think I want to go back to Weight Watchers, but then sometimes I want to run back to it because it’s what I know. I have downloaded My Fitness Pal but haven’t done anything with it yet. I’m at a crossroad on my journey and have no clue what to do next.
Part of me wants to say screw tracking, in any way, shape, form, or fashion, but I am incapable of eating in moderation. I’ve tried. I don’t have it in me. I restrict and binge. I need balance.
I was successful losing weight before, but it came from a place of hatred for myself. I cringe a million cringes when I see people that I follow on Instagram and blogs being so hard on themselves about weight loss. I know that feeling and I don’t want it.
Here’s what I know about weight loss that I didn’t know before:
• Working out is not punishment for being fat.
•Your waist size does not determine your self worth.
•When you are surrounded by loving, supportive people you can more easily love yourself.
•If you lose weight because you hate your body, you will gain it back.
Love yourself first.
I do now. And I’m ready to do it the right way this time around.