Goodbyes are hard. Especially when you’ve done something for so long!
I’ve been absent here for a while, but once upon a time I shared every tiny detail of my life here. This blog has been a part of me for years, but it’s time to let it go.
I have given so much thought to this. I have half heartedly attempted to become a daily or even weekly (bi-weekly?) blogger again, but I don’t have it in me to do for many reasons. You all know how much I love lists, so here goes-
1) My daughter’s privacy. I don’t mind sharing my life, but my day in and out life consists of her all day every day, and it isn’t fair of me to share every detail of her life online. One day she’s going to be a teenager. I don’t want her entire life to be chronicled online and used against her. It’s not fair to her. She is my world and I want to protect her. This is one way I’m doing so.
2) Blogging ain’t what it was, y’all. Long, long ago when I started we all just did it because it was fun. We had a network of bloggers who loved one another and we all commented and tweeted and spread that love. It was fun. Sponsorships and affiliate links sucked the fun right out of it. I miss the good old days, but they will never be what they were.
3) I’m in a different place. When I started blogging, I was searching. Searching for happiness. A smaller size. Self worth. Validation. Happiness.
I have that now.
I have a real life. Not a rotten marriage I pretend is ok, not a job that allows me to only look at passing cars full of normal families and convince myself I’m not worthy of that.. I have it. A house, the love of my life, a daughter, y’all. I have a daughter. When I started this blog that wasn’t even on the option list. My life has changed, and for the better.
I finally found what I was looking for, but I found it within myself. That’s important to note, because I got myself out of a horrible relationship and took control of my future.
I made it. I went from a miserable person getting drunk in my bathtub nightly to a happy mom. I still can’t believe it.
So thank you. Thank every single one of you for reading along, commenting, celebrating with us, crying with me, encouraging me through a rough divorce, and just being a sounding board when I had no one.
When my domain registration expires next month this will go back to a WordPress.com site. I’ll leave it up. But I won’t write here anymore.
Going forward I encourage you all to step away from the screen. My life has changed drastically because I stopped talking about life and just started living it. Life goes by so fast that if you spend all of your time reading about the lives of others you will forget to live yours. Get out there and do something amazing with that time.
Before I go, a few big moments I want to remember here. Thank you all for helping me break out of this shell of a person-
Thank you for celebrating with us when I chose happiness over convenience and married this man. Still the best decision I ever made. I thank God for him every day.
And most of all, thank you for seeing the beauty in me that for so long I couldn’t see in myself. I see it now. I no longer feel the need to record every workout (3 times a week now, y’all! I’ve finally learned to love working out and I didn’t even have to tell everyone about it everything it happened!) and I no longer feel like my life will begin when I hit some arbitrary number on the scale.
I’m living it now.
If I never lose another pound, I’m happy and healthy. Mission accomplished.